Here is where I will be analyzing Amorah Pratt's 3rd paragraph for her Video Essay as her final project.
In my comments, I said that she had made a really good start of a project. She really was able to show her strong personality just through her rough cut of WRITING the draft. So I can't wait to see what it will be like as a Video Essay and you will be able to both see and hear her and really get a sense for who she is as a person and as a writer. I didn't have many suggestions for her rough cut, other than to maybe talk about the English class a little sooner and show how it related to what she was discussing for so long in the majority of this section. I think that she could have included it somewhere in the middle without it being too forced. I didn't really need to use the Student's Guide but, once again, I thought she did a stellar job with her voice, which is such an important part to the video essay and any genre for that matter.
So, if you couldn't already tell, I really admire her voice in her writing, and how easy it is to tell who she is as both a writer and a person!
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Editorial Report 15b
Here is where I am going to compare and contrast my editorial report 14a to my newest draft of this second paragraph for all y'all. This is the paragraph(s) that discussed the importance of discovering who I was as a writer and how I have changed over the semester.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I don't think that the content changed all that much. If anything, I made sure that the formatting was correct and that the paragraphs were not too long (I had to separate a few of them into multiple paragraphs because they were too long). I also added some more substance to my ideas if that makes any sense. So I just included more details to what I had originally had so it wasn't just summarizing or bland talking. I think that I 'spiced it up a little bit' so that it is more interesting to read for the audience.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
I think that the only way the form changed was that I added the MLA format header and footer that I had completely forgotten about in the original draft of my final project. After seeing some of the other standard college essays that were completed, I realized that I needed to include those aspects in order to fully grasp the true elements of the standard college essay genre. I think that now it seems like I really learned a lot in this English class about professionalism and writing and the relationship that the two have on the content of the genre.
Editorial Report 15a
Here is where I am going to compare and contrast my editorial report 14a to my newest draft of this first body paragraph for all y'all.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I don't think that the content changed all that much. If anything, I made sure that the formatting was correct and that the paragraphs were not too long (I had to separate a few of them into multiple paragraphs because they were too long). I also added some more substance to my ideas if that makes any sense. So I just included more details to what I had originally had so it wasn't just summarizing or bland talking. I think that I 'spiced it up a little bit' so that it is more interesting to read for the audience.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
I think that the only way the form changed was that I added the MLA format header and footer that I had completely forgotten about in the original draft of my final project. After seeing some of the other standard college essays that were completed, I realized that I needed to include those aspects in order to fully grasp the true elements of the standard college essay genre. I think that now it seems like I really learned a lot in this English class about professionalism and writing and the relationship that the two have on the content of the genre.
Open Post to Peer Reviewers
In this blog post I'm just letting all you readers out there know how this week is going/went and what you should expect from my rough cut.
Here is where you can find the rough cut link.
Here is where you can find the rough cut link.
Audience Question: What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?
I am thinking that the post-production process will be a breeze considering that I have accomplished a lot and already have done a few drafts of my final project. It really helped that I had a lot of time this weekend to get a head start on my project because I don't know if I would have been able to find much this coming week with finals in my other classes and what not. I am definitely glad that I had only a standard college essay left as my genre, because if I had to do a video essay or a podcast at this point, I think that I'd be screwed. I am already stressed with so much going on this week, that learning how to use all the new technology and doing all the research would have been super time consuming. Luckily, when we discussed in class what the prompt was going to be on, I was able to quickly come up with ideas on what I would write about in my final paper.
What I would like all you peer reviewers out there to know is that this is more of a casual standard college essay. Since it is a reflection, and I am allowed to use "I" in the essay, I figured that it wouldn't have to seem as professional as the other projects we had. All I did was analyze the way that I have changed this year because of this class. I think that my writing style allows me to write in a way that shows my voice clearly with a sense of humor included, but also a bit of a serious side. If the essay seems to be too casual, please let me know! However, I didn't think that there was a specific way of writing this final project. Also, if my transitions are in need of some help let me know! If there is anything that really needs help or more explanation let me know, and don't be afraid to do both global and local edits. I appreciate all positive and negative feedback! Thank you!!
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Peer Review 14b for Ben Barnett
Here you will find the peer review that I completed for Ben Barnett's standard college essay and his first body paragraph on time management.
In this peer review, I left comments that said that he did an overall really good job with discussing how it is that he has progressed throughout this semester, but I think that the only thing that he really needs to make sure he checks are the little spelling and grammar issues. Even though it is local revisions, it is an important part of the final project. I think that overall this is a really good final essay but the grammar and spelling is an important part too. On page 72 of the Student's Guide it is important that he includes evidence, so maybe including a citation from the syllabus would help? I really admired his voice throughout the paragraph though.
In this peer review, I left comments that said that he did an overall really good job with discussing how it is that he has progressed throughout this semester, but I think that the only thing that he really needs to make sure he checks are the little spelling and grammar issues. Even though it is local revisions, it is an important part of the final project. I think that overall this is a really good final essay but the grammar and spelling is an important part too. On page 72 of the Student's Guide it is important that he includes evidence, so maybe including a citation from the syllabus would help? I really admired his voice throughout the paragraph though.
Peer Review 14 for Olivia Sandhu
In this blog post I will be analyzing the peer reviewing that I did for Olivia's standard college essay for her final course essay.
In this essay, I didn't really have many edits to make. I thought that her intro paragraph was really well written. She introduced the subject matter and the three topics that she is going to talk about in the rest of her essay. The only thing that I would suggest is that she could shorten the quote that she uses from Bottai's syllabus. It is really long so I think that it would help more to cut it down a bit to just get the main parts of the syllabus that are necessary. From the Student's Guide I think that page 72 showed a lot about the evidence that is necessary to use. And with that, she did a good job using the evidence from the syllabus. I am super excited to see what the rest of her paper turns out to be.
I really liked her opening sentence in this essay because it really showed her true feelings about the class and all that she has done for it.
In this essay, I didn't really have many edits to make. I thought that her intro paragraph was really well written. She introduced the subject matter and the three topics that she is going to talk about in the rest of her essay. The only thing that I would suggest is that she could shorten the quote that she uses from Bottai's syllabus. It is really long so I think that it would help more to cut it down a bit to just get the main parts of the syllabus that are necessary. From the Student's Guide I think that page 72 showed a lot about the evidence that is necessary to use. And with that, she did a good job using the evidence from the syllabus. I am super excited to see what the rest of her paper turns out to be.
I really liked her opening sentence in this essay because it really showed her true feelings about the class and all that she has done for it.
Production Report 14b
In this blog post, I will be sharing my standard college essay, but specifically the second body paragraph. Feel free to comment and edit away!
Here is where you can find that second body paragraph on how my writing strategies have changed over the semester.
FROM CONTENT OUTLINE:
Body Paragraph 2:
1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
Once again, just like the last blog post, I thought that the standard college essay really allowed me to organize my thoughts really well. I definitely liked that I was able to use the standard college essay format to figure this final project out because it allowed me to separate my ideas out in paragraph form. It is much easier and will be much easier to explain how I have grown and what this course has done to change me as both a person and a writer.
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The production of this raw material was not terrible to create. There weren't any technological challenges with this project since I wasn't using GarageBand or Excel or iMovie. I know how to work Word and Google Docs so I think that that aspect was really easy. The main problems that I am going to face now is that I need to expand on my ideas more and not just summarize. I need to use good examples and find the time to finish this as well as find time to study for my finals and complete other last projects that have been assigned to me.
Here is where you can find that second body paragraph on how my writing strategies have changed over the semester.
FROM CONTENT OUTLINE:
Body Paragraph 2:
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the different ways that I changed as a writer since the beginning of the semester
- "Heavy editor"
- Became an "edit while I work" kinda writer
- What I have done to change my ways
EVIDENCE
- Differences between the 3 projects and how those worked for me
- the importance of showing my progression of my writing throughout the semester and how it has affected my writing overall
- What I have changed in my writing over the semester
- the importance of showing how I have changed my strategies of approaching the writing when I am assigned the different projects.
IMPORTANCE:
- The importance of including this paragraph is that the difference in how I approached my writing projects and why it is so important to have been able to change the way that I write so that I can become a more confident writer and edit as I go instead of editing after the whole essay is written.
Once again, just like the last blog post, I thought that the standard college essay really allowed me to organize my thoughts really well. I definitely liked that I was able to use the standard college essay format to figure this final project out because it allowed me to separate my ideas out in paragraph form. It is much easier and will be much easier to explain how I have grown and what this course has done to change me as both a person and a writer.
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The production of this raw material was not terrible to create. There weren't any technological challenges with this project since I wasn't using GarageBand or Excel or iMovie. I know how to work Word and Google Docs so I think that that aspect was really easy. The main problems that I am going to face now is that I need to expand on my ideas more and not just summarize. I need to use good examples and find the time to finish this as well as find time to study for my finals and complete other last projects that have been assigned to me.
Production Report 14a
In this blog post, I'll be sharing my first body paragraph. There are a lot of things that are wrong with this so please feel free to edit the crap out of it. It is still a work in progress.
Here is where you can find my first body paragraph about time management!
FROM CONTENT OUTLINE:
1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
Since I really didn't have much of a choice on this one, I was stuck with a standard college essay for my final project. I planned it out this way though because I thought that a reflection would best be explained in an essay format as opposed to a podcast or a video segment. But it was especially not a good use of the QRG. I definitely liked that I was able to use the standard college essay format to figure this final project out because it allowed me to separate my ideas out in paragraph form. It is much easier and will be much easier to explain how I have grown and what this course has done to change me as both a person and a writer.
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The production of this raw material was not terrible to create. There weren't any technological challenges with this project since I wasn't using GarageBand or Excel or iMovie. I know how to work Word and Google Docs so I think that that aspect was really easy. The main problems that I am going to face now is that I need to expand on my ideas more and not just summarize. I need to use good examples and find the time to finish this as well as find time to study for my finals and complete other last projects that have been assigned to me.
Here is where you can find my first body paragraph about time management!
FROM CONTENT OUTLINE:
Body Paragraph 1
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the reasons why I struggled with time management and the things that I did to help myself become more organized
- Discuss my plans for changing my organizational skills
- How it will help me in the future
EVIDENCE
- Hard classes that I was taking with this English class
- shows how my expectations were completely wrong for the class overall
- Thought that English wouldn't take as much time
- completely underestimated the amount of time that it would take to get all of the necessary work done for these projects.
IMPORTANCE:
- The importance of this paragraph is that it showed me that I will always have a lot of things to do but it is the amount of time that I spend figuring out how much I should spend on each thing and learning how to prioritize my time that was what was an important outcome of this class.
Since I really didn't have much of a choice on this one, I was stuck with a standard college essay for my final project. I planned it out this way though because I thought that a reflection would best be explained in an essay format as opposed to a podcast or a video segment. But it was especially not a good use of the QRG. I definitely liked that I was able to use the standard college essay format to figure this final project out because it allowed me to separate my ideas out in paragraph form. It is much easier and will be much easier to explain how I have grown and what this course has done to change me as both a person and a writer.
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The production of this raw material was not terrible to create. There weren't any technological challenges with this project since I wasn't using GarageBand or Excel or iMovie. I know how to work Word and Google Docs so I think that that aspect was really easy. The main problems that I am going to face now is that I need to expand on my ideas more and not just summarize. I need to use good examples and find the time to finish this as well as find time to study for my finals and complete other last projects that have been assigned to me.
Production Schedule
In this blog post, you'll get to see what my life was like this past week working on the first weeks worth of blogs and creating the rough draft of the final course project.
Content Outline
This is how I am going to approach doing my project!
Opening
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the three things that I am going to be discussing in my course final and the three things that I have learned in this class
- time management
- how I have changed as a writer
- importance of finding a topic that I am actually interested in
EVIDENCE
- How I struggled with my writing strategies
- important because it will show how I have grown over the semester
- Why I had the time management issues because of my different classes that are so hard
- will explain the reasons behind my choice to take less credits for the hard classes
IMPORTANCE
- The importance of including this section is that it will explain the reasons why I have grown over the course of this semester and why it was so great that I was able to learn so much over this semester.
HOW TO GRAB THE READERS' ATTENTION
- start off with how much I originally was a complete mess at the beginning of the semester and how much I have grown over the past 4 months.
Body Paragraph 1
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the reasons why I struggled with time management and the things that I did to help myself become more organized
- Discuss my plans for changing my organizational skills
- How it will help me in the future
EVIDENCE
- Hard classes that I was taking with this English class
- shows how my expecations were completely wrong for the class overall
- Thought that English wouldn't take as much time
- completely underestimated the amount of time that it would take to get all of the necessary work done for these projects.
IMPORTANCE:
- The importance of this paragraph is that it showed me that I will always have a lot of things to do but it is the amount of time that I spend figuring out how much I should spend on each thing and learning how to prioritize my time that was what was an important outcome of this class.
Body Paragraph 2:
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the different ways that I changed as a writer since the beginning of the semester
- "Heavy editor"
- Became an "edit while I work" kinda writer
- What I have done to change my ways
EVIDENCE
- Differences between the 3 projects and how those worked for me
- the importance of showing my progression of my writing throughout the semester and how it has affected my writing overall
- What I have changed in my writing over the semester
- the importance of showing how I have changed my strategies of approaching the writing when I am assigned the different projects.
IMPORTANCE:
- The importance of including this paragraph is that the difference in how I approached my writing projects and why it is so important to have been able to change the way that I write so that I can become a more confident writer and edit as I go instead of editing after the whole essay is written.
Body Paragraph 3
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the different ways that I have discovered what kind of things interest me and why that has improved the ways that I have become a bit of a better writer.
- Describe my change in major and the importance of that in my interest of writing
- Occupational Therapy
- Public Health
- How I have grown as a writer because of my major change
EVIDENCE:
- Discuss what it was like to be Undecided for a while and trying to write the papers without having any interest in these subjects
- what made me change my major finally
- How I didn't know what to do for the 2nd project because I wasn't expecting it
- the second project really opened my eyes to the fields of OT and public health
IMPORTANCE
This paragraph is important because without talking about the differing writing changes, I wouldn't be able to defend the amount of work that I have done throughout the semester.
Conclusion:
MAIN IDEA
- Conclude with the reasons why this class has helped so much and why it is such a great experience for my future
- Describe the biggest thing that I took away from this class
EVIDENCE
- Why I became much more confident in my writing
- important because it was really important for me to become more confident in my writing and how I approach these writing projects
- How I have increased my motivations for writing
- important because I have learned that these are the topics that are most interesting to me and make me want to write better
IMPORTANCE
- This paragraph is important because without the conclusion saying why it is so great that I have completed this course and learned so much, I will probably be able to become more successful in my writing career in the future.
LARGER SIGNIFICANCE
- The biggest picture of this reflection is that I have grown intellectually because of this course. It has taught me so much about myself and about my writing. I really feel much more confident about myself when I am writing a paper, which is important because I used to be really embarrassed about my writing and what I would produce. So this class has really helped me overcome that fear.
Draft of Open Letter
So for this blog post, I'm just lettin all you peer reviewers out there know what to expect from this attached document, and what you should look out for!
I would like you to know that I am still working out what it is exactly that I want to focus on specifically. It is really hard for me to decide on one thing in specific that really changed or helped me or affected my experience in this class. If there is something that doesn't make sense, please let me know. Also if my transitions are a bit rough, then please let me know. I am thinking about focusing more on my time management then anything else, since I was taking physio and chemistry (each with a lab) while also taking this class and a gen ed and how hard it was to learn how to cope with time management, but how I also have learned so much from struggling with it.
HERE is where you'll find my letter about this semester.
I would like you to know that I am still working out what it is exactly that I want to focus on specifically. It is really hard for me to decide on one thing in specific that really changed or helped me or affected my experience in this class. If there is something that doesn't make sense, please let me know. Also if my transitions are a bit rough, then please let me know. I am thinking about focusing more on my time management then anything else, since I was taking physio and chemistry (each with a lab) while also taking this class and a gen ed and how hard it was to learn how to cope with time management, but how I also have learned so much from struggling with it.
HERE is where you'll find my letter about this semester.
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Reflecting More on My Writing Experiences
This is the blog post where I will just be further reflecting on how I've grown as a writer or maybe how I haven't over the course of the semester.
1. What were the biggest challenges you faced this semester, overall?
My biggest challenge I think was time management. I know that we (as a class) constantly complained about the immense amount of time that we each spent on the blogging and on the projects and the editing. It was really hard to adjust to and I realized that the hardest part of all of this work was trying to find the best way to approach doing all of this including the other work that our other classes required. It was really hard to figure out a good schedule, however by the second month I think I finally figured out that the best way to get all of this work done while having time to breathe and to also get the loads and loads of homework and studying done for my other classes. It was really hard to get used to the workload of this class, but once I figured that out, it really wasn't as much of a problem.
The only other challenge that I faced this semester was finding the motivation to actually do these projects. I knew that I was motivated to do well on these for the good grade, but I wanted to be able to get something out of the project since it had to do with my majors. So the first project was a bit tricky and by the third project I had finally found things that I knew I would enjoy writing about. And I definitely think that it showed in my work and the amount of work that I put into each of the projects as my motivation increased as the semester progressed.
2. What did you learn this semester about your own time management, writing and editorial skills?
As I said in the question above, I really learned about the amount of work that I have isn't going to change much over the years, and that is how real life is, so learning how to manage my time was really helpful in this class. I think that learning the right amount of time that I needed to save for each class took a lot of time to figure out but once I sort of perfected it, I think that I became much more successful. My writing skills I think have improved a little bit. I definitely don't feel 100% confident with my writing now, however, I definitely think that I have found what I can and cannot do well. So, I know that when I find a topic that really interests me, I am able to write much more clear and better on that specific topic. However, in the first project, I was not entirely confident in my writing or what I was writing on. My editorial skills have improved though. Now I know what is and is not appropriate in certain genres and what does and does not sound good in certain types of writing.
3. What do you know about the concept of 'genre'? Explain how understanding this concept is central to being a more effective writer.
I now much better understand the concept of "genre". When I first started this class, I really didn't know that genre could come in all different forms of writing. I really just thought that there were genres as in types of books like horror genre or the nonfiction genre but I didn't know that an essay or a podcast counted as different types of genres as well. It really opened my eyes to the importance of understanding the ins and outs of each genre so that I can most effectively write for this specific genre and get the information needed out to the audience in a clear and effective way.
4. What skills from this course might you use and/or develop further in the next few years of college coursework?
As I said earlier, I definitely think that this course work will help me understand the importance of time management as my college years go by as well as in my life after college. Everything will always be busy and I am just going to have to really get used to organizing time for everything that needs to have time spent on it. I also think that it proved that I have the dedication and the motivation to get projects done in all different kinds of genres. Since we live in a technology generation, I know that I am going to need to spend time working on different genres in the technological genres. Like I am going to need to probably make a lot of informative videos and learn to communicate really well in all different kinds of ways and I think that this course work has really helped prepare me for that.
5. What was your most effective moment from this semester in 109H?
I think my most effective moment from this semester was the moment that I finished my third project. I had put so much effort and time into that project, so finishing it really made me feel so good and accomplished. I think that that was the most definitive moment of how much work I had put into this semester and all of the work and time that I spent on these projects and blogs.
6. What was your least effective moment from this semester in 109H?
I think that my least effective moment from this semester was when I was trying to figure out what to talk about in my interviews for the second project. I really didn't understand the project well enough to know what to ask so I struggled a lot with my first interview since I had scheduled it so early on and we hadn't really discussed much at that time. It was kind of a mess, but I got over it...eventually.
1. What were the biggest challenges you faced this semester, overall?
My biggest challenge I think was time management. I know that we (as a class) constantly complained about the immense amount of time that we each spent on the blogging and on the projects and the editing. It was really hard to adjust to and I realized that the hardest part of all of this work was trying to find the best way to approach doing all of this including the other work that our other classes required. It was really hard to figure out a good schedule, however by the second month I think I finally figured out that the best way to get all of this work done while having time to breathe and to also get the loads and loads of homework and studying done for my other classes. It was really hard to get used to the workload of this class, but once I figured that out, it really wasn't as much of a problem.
The only other challenge that I faced this semester was finding the motivation to actually do these projects. I knew that I was motivated to do well on these for the good grade, but I wanted to be able to get something out of the project since it had to do with my majors. So the first project was a bit tricky and by the third project I had finally found things that I knew I would enjoy writing about. And I definitely think that it showed in my work and the amount of work that I put into each of the projects as my motivation increased as the semester progressed.
2. What did you learn this semester about your own time management, writing and editorial skills?
As I said in the question above, I really learned about the amount of work that I have isn't going to change much over the years, and that is how real life is, so learning how to manage my time was really helpful in this class. I think that learning the right amount of time that I needed to save for each class took a lot of time to figure out but once I sort of perfected it, I think that I became much more successful. My writing skills I think have improved a little bit. I definitely don't feel 100% confident with my writing now, however, I definitely think that I have found what I can and cannot do well. So, I know that when I find a topic that really interests me, I am able to write much more clear and better on that specific topic. However, in the first project, I was not entirely confident in my writing or what I was writing on. My editorial skills have improved though. Now I know what is and is not appropriate in certain genres and what does and does not sound good in certain types of writing.
3. What do you know about the concept of 'genre'? Explain how understanding this concept is central to being a more effective writer.
I now much better understand the concept of "genre". When I first started this class, I really didn't know that genre could come in all different forms of writing. I really just thought that there were genres as in types of books like horror genre or the nonfiction genre but I didn't know that an essay or a podcast counted as different types of genres as well. It really opened my eyes to the importance of understanding the ins and outs of each genre so that I can most effectively write for this specific genre and get the information needed out to the audience in a clear and effective way.
4. What skills from this course might you use and/or develop further in the next few years of college coursework?
As I said earlier, I definitely think that this course work will help me understand the importance of time management as my college years go by as well as in my life after college. Everything will always be busy and I am just going to have to really get used to organizing time for everything that needs to have time spent on it. I also think that it proved that I have the dedication and the motivation to get projects done in all different kinds of genres. Since we live in a technology generation, I know that I am going to need to spend time working on different genres in the technological genres. Like I am going to need to probably make a lot of informative videos and learn to communicate really well in all different kinds of ways and I think that this course work has really helped prepare me for that.
5. What was your most effective moment from this semester in 109H?
I think my most effective moment from this semester was the moment that I finished my third project. I had put so much effort and time into that project, so finishing it really made me feel so good and accomplished. I think that that was the most definitive moment of how much work I had put into this semester and all of the work and time that I spent on these projects and blogs.
6. What was your least effective moment from this semester in 109H?
I think that my least effective moment from this semester was when I was trying to figure out what to talk about in my interviews for the second project. I really didn't understand the project well enough to know what to ask so I struggled a lot with my first interview since I had scheduled it so early on and we hadn't really discussed much at that time. It was kind of a mess, but I got over it...eventually.
Revisiting My Writing Process
Oh man this brought back soooo many memories. Even though this was only a few months ago, it is crazy to think how much I have done since January not only in this class but throughout this whole school year. In this blog post, I am reflecting on some of the first blog posts that I created. They were on my writing process (being a heavy reviser) and my Calendar Reflection.
Not too much has changed in how I start my writing process since when I first started analyzing how I approached the whole writing process. I think that my approach is still just do a whole really really rough version of the essay or whatever it is that I am making and then find the time to really crack down on the whole editing thing. I have found that that is where I am most successful. When I am able to just get all of my ideas out on the first draft and then be able to just edit and cut things or add things from there. As long as I am able to actually get all of my original ideas out (no matter how rough they really are) it is really helpful for me to get all of that out somewhere so that I don't have to worry about losing those ideas later on when I am trying to cram everything into one night.
However, the way that I manage my time and the amount of time that I spend on each of these projects. I have learned that I do not work well under a time constraint. I really learned a lot about myself this semester with all of these projects. I realized that I need to start working on projects way earlier and get the blog posts done earlier in the week so that on the weekends I can spend more time focusing on the actual projects. I also realized that I needed to spend a lot of quality time learning how to use the different applications on my laptop to make some of the projects. I had to remember how to work GarageBand and iMovie again. Other than that, I still think that I work real hard on everything. I definitely think that all of this will help me in the future with my job working with people and learning how to properly and professionally communicate with all different kinds of audiences.
Not too much has changed in how I start my writing process since when I first started analyzing how I approached the whole writing process. I think that my approach is still just do a whole really really rough version of the essay or whatever it is that I am making and then find the time to really crack down on the whole editing thing. I have found that that is where I am most successful. When I am able to just get all of my ideas out on the first draft and then be able to just edit and cut things or add things from there. As long as I am able to actually get all of my original ideas out (no matter how rough they really are) it is really helpful for me to get all of that out somewhere so that I don't have to worry about losing those ideas later on when I am trying to cram everything into one night.
However, the way that I manage my time and the amount of time that I spend on each of these projects. I have learned that I do not work well under a time constraint. I really learned a lot about myself this semester with all of these projects. I realized that I need to start working on projects way earlier and get the blog posts done earlier in the week so that on the weekends I can spend more time focusing on the actual projects. I also realized that I needed to spend a lot of quality time learning how to use the different applications on my laptop to make some of the projects. I had to remember how to work GarageBand and iMovie again. Other than that, I still think that I work real hard on everything. I definitely think that all of this will help me in the future with my job working with people and learning how to properly and professionally communicate with all different kinds of audiences.
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Peer Review for Michaela Harrington
This is where I will locally edit Michaela Harrington's podcast on Fracking. I made a re-design recommendation for her project.
On her post I made sure to discuss her use of genre conventions for a podcast. Since it had a good amount of opening music and sound effects, it really made a good impression and made me want to keep listening to her podcast and what she had to say about these earthquakes. I thought that it would help to keep those sound effects as solid throughout the rest of the podcast however. I think that without these sound effects and the music, the podcast might be a bit dull and not keep the audience entertained for that long since there are no visuals in a podcast. The audio and the background noises are vital for good podcasts to be effective.
I made sure to mention that the sources are a good part to the podcast. On page 72 of the Student Guide she follows really well the bullet points that explain how to properly use the sources in her podcast so that her claims are supported well and the audience has a sense of credibility towards her and her knowledge on this specific topic of "fracking". I really admire how she speaks with an ease to her and it flowed very nicely and was very easy to understand which is a really important aspect of a podcast since the audio is the only way that the audience can interpret the information.
On her post I made sure to discuss her use of genre conventions for a podcast. Since it had a good amount of opening music and sound effects, it really made a good impression and made me want to keep listening to her podcast and what she had to say about these earthquakes. I thought that it would help to keep those sound effects as solid throughout the rest of the podcast however. I think that without these sound effects and the music, the podcast might be a bit dull and not keep the audience entertained for that long since there are no visuals in a podcast. The audio and the background noises are vital for good podcasts to be effective.
I made sure to mention that the sources are a good part to the podcast. On page 72 of the Student Guide she follows really well the bullet points that explain how to properly use the sources in her podcast so that her claims are supported well and the audience has a sense of credibility towards her and her knowledge on this specific topic of "fracking". I really admire how she speaks with an ease to her and it flowed very nicely and was very easy to understand which is a really important aspect of a podcast since the audio is the only way that the audience can interpret the information.
Peer Review for Bianca Aguilar
This is where I will edit (locally) Bianca's Video Essay on "Voluntourism". This is the revised section of the meaning behind the word voluntourism for her project.
What I told her was that she had a lot of good content and a lot of evidence that provides a good amount of support for her claims that social media can be both good and bad for volunteer trips. However I made sure to let her know that it might be helpful to include more about the "bad" uses of social media because it was mainly focused on the beneficial parts. I just thought that it would be an important part to include because in class we talked about the importance of providing a counterargument. I made a recommendation about re-design because I thought that it would be important to include some sort of background music to fill in the silent spaces during the pauses/breaks she takes in between topics. I think that it is a vital part of the video essay genre and it would help her video essay tremendously.
I also mentioned that in the Student's Guide on page 72, the sources bullet point, was used in her video very nicely. I said that she made her sources reliable (since they were her own experiences being on a volunteer trip that was NOT considered voluntourism). I think that the credibility of her sources really helped her out a lot with this video.
I really liked that aspect of her video. The fact that she could very easily explain what it was like to be on a volunteer trip without the negative effects of social media was inspiring and it made the video super cool to watch and learn about.
What I told her was that she had a lot of good content and a lot of evidence that provides a good amount of support for her claims that social media can be both good and bad for volunteer trips. However I made sure to let her know that it might be helpful to include more about the "bad" uses of social media because it was mainly focused on the beneficial parts. I just thought that it would be an important part to include because in class we talked about the importance of providing a counterargument. I made a recommendation about re-design because I thought that it would be important to include some sort of background music to fill in the silent spaces during the pauses/breaks she takes in between topics. I think that it is a vital part of the video essay genre and it would help her video essay tremendously.
I also mentioned that in the Student's Guide on page 72, the sources bullet point, was used in her video very nicely. I said that she made her sources reliable (since they were her own experiences being on a volunteer trip that was NOT considered voluntourism). I think that the credibility of her sources really helped her out a lot with this video.
I really liked that aspect of her video. The fact that she could very easily explain what it was like to be on a volunteer trip without the negative effects of social media was inspiring and it made the video super cool to watch and learn about.
Reflection on the Post-Production Week (MAKING THE FINAL CUT)
Here is where I am going to rant about how much time and effort I put into this project and where I am going to most definitely toot my own horn because I am damn proud of this video essay. So TOOT TOOT TOOOT TOOT TOOOOOT.
1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?
4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
Let me just say that having so little success with the rough cut allowed me to make this week full of successes. Not only did I finish this video essay, but I perfected it and made sure that everything was as great as possible. I re-wrote the script multiple times until I thought that I really had a good organization of the information that could be presented to the audience that I made it for. Once I got into the groove, everything seemed to go right. I found all the right pictures (which by the way was hard hard HARD work). I made sure that each picture matched up with what I was saying. I made sure that my voice was clear and that I spoke slowly enough. It was kinda fun to make all this once I started getting my mojo. It's amazing how much more efficient I am with my work when I actually enjoy what I am doing.
2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
Starting to deal with all of the things that just went to crap during last week and the week before, I found it very difficult to even know where to begin. However, I know that I got through it with grace and a sense of maturity. Yes, I ate a pint of ice cream while doing it, but I enjoyed every second (of both the ice cream and the making of the video). Other than just some small computer glitches and the actual starting of the real project, I found that this was a pretty successful project.
3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?
Next week will be a breeze since I have finished the project that I am so so proud of. However I will be starting the next project in this class, as well as taking two very important Physiology tests. I think that if I put as much effort and dedication into this following week as I did for this week with this project, I will be extremely successful (Toot toot).
4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
I LOVE THIS PROJECT SO MUCH. I went home this weekend and showed my neighbors and my family because I was so proud of it and I wanted them to learn about the topic that I chose. Watching them all watch it and then having a nice discussion about it afterwards really made me feel good about myself. I never thought that I could enjoy a writing project, but the time has come finally, and I think that this is the project that made me a decent writer. I have finally followed through with the title of my blog.
Editorial Report 13b
Here is the blog post that will be one of the final edits (locally) of the video essay. I will be comparing it from how it was in the rough cut to the final cut.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
The content changed a lot since I re-edited it. This is because I really worked out all of the kinks that were present in the rough cut. I made sure the things that I was saying the background made enough sense and was clear enough to be understood by an audience who didn't know much about this subject. I also think that this final cut is much more smooth than the other rough cuts. I worked on my word choice and the organization of how I told the information to the audience. I wanted the information to flow in a nice way that would all make sense so that it wasn't a complete mess of ideas going back and forth leaving the audience quite confused. It is because of these changes that I think that I was able to more effectively communicate with the audience about this specific topic. Since this involves a little bit of science to understand the negative effects of the immense amounts of screen times, I thought that it would only be more beneficial to break the info down in a way that would more easily be understood for those who aren't aware of what some might say is "easy" science.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
The content changed a lot since I re-edited it. This is because I really worked out all of the kinks that were present in the rough cut. I made sure the things that I was saying the background made enough sense and was clear enough to be understood by an audience who didn't know much about this subject. I also think that this final cut is much more smooth than the other rough cuts. I worked on my word choice and the organization of how I told the information to the audience. I wanted the information to flow in a nice way that would all make sense so that it wasn't a complete mess of ideas going back and forth leaving the audience quite confused. It is because of these changes that I think that I was able to more effectively communicate with the audience about this specific topic. Since this involves a little bit of science to understand the negative effects of the immense amounts of screen times, I thought that it would only be more beneficial to break the info down in a way that would more easily be understood for those who aren't aware of what some might say is "easy" science.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
As I said above, the form changed when I re-edited it because I made the transitions much more smooth. I made sure that the pictures weren't being switched too quickly and that the music wasn't overpowering my voice. I also made sure to lower the volume of the background music so that it wasn't taking away the importance of what it was saying. I wanted the music to just be there so that it wasn't complete silence and then just my voice the whole time. I picked a simple little guitar medley that stayed constant throughout the whole podcast. I also made sure to include sources at the end of the video, as well as little texts throughout the video on the important details to make sure that the audience REALLY could understand through my voice AND through visuals. I highlighted the even more important parts of those pieces to further point out its importance.
Selection from Rough Cut: here
Re-Edited Version: here (0:53-1:30)
Selection from Rough Cut: here
Re-Edited Version: here (0:53-1:30)
Editorial Report 13a
Here is the blog post that will be one of the final edits (locally) of the video essay. I will be comparing it from how it was in the rough cut to the final cut.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
The content changed a lot since I re-edited it. This is because I really worked out all of the kinks that were present in the rough cut. I made sure the things that I was saying the background made enough sense and was clear enough to be understood by an audience who didn't know much about this subject. I also think that this final cut is much more smooth than the other rough cuts. I worked on my word choice and the organization of how I told the information to the audience. I wanted the information to flow in a nice way that would all make sense so that it wasn't a complete mess of ideas going back and forth leaving the audience quite confused. It is because of these changes that I think that I was able to more effectively communicate with the audience about this specific topic. Since this involves a little bit of science to understand the negative effects of the immense amounts of screen times, I thought that it would only be more beneficial to break the info down in a way that would more easily be understood for those who aren't aware of what some might say is "easy" science.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
The content changed a lot since I re-edited it. This is because I really worked out all of the kinks that were present in the rough cut. I made sure the things that I was saying the background made enough sense and was clear enough to be understood by an audience who didn't know much about this subject. I also think that this final cut is much more smooth than the other rough cuts. I worked on my word choice and the organization of how I told the information to the audience. I wanted the information to flow in a nice way that would all make sense so that it wasn't a complete mess of ideas going back and forth leaving the audience quite confused. It is because of these changes that I think that I was able to more effectively communicate with the audience about this specific topic. Since this involves a little bit of science to understand the negative effects of the immense amounts of screen times, I thought that it would only be more beneficial to break the info down in a way that would more easily be understood for those who aren't aware of what some might say is "easy" science.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
As I said above, the form changed when I re-edited it because I made the transitions much more smooth. I made sure that the pictures weren't being switched too quickly and that the music wasn't overpowering my voice. I also made sure to lower the volume of the background music so that it wasn't taking away the importance of what it was saying. I wanted the music to just be there so that it wasn't complete silence and then just my voice the whole time. I picked a simple little guitar medley that stayed constant throughout the whole podcast. I also made sure to include sources at the end of the video, as well as little texts throughout the video on the important details to make sure that the audience REALLY could understand through my voice AND through visuals. I highlighted the even more important parts of those pieces to further point out its importance.
Selection from Rough Cut: here
Revised Post to Peer Reviewers
Here is where my final edition of my video essay will be posted.
FINAL CUT: Here
FINAL CUT: Here
Audience Question: What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?
I thought that this week went rather nicely compared to the actual production phase when I was not very successful with the amount of work that I was able to get done. That being said, I thought that it was really good to be able to see the suggestions that I was given through my peers. I thought that seeing what other people thought about my project was extremely helpful considering that I had been staring at the project for hours sand hours on end. I thought that I was going to go crazy but to have more feedback was extremely helpful.
For anyone that is editing or peer reviewing my video, just know that I put in a lot of time and a lot of effort into this project and I made a lot of different edits and drafts so that the script would sound nice and organized. However if there is something that you think would make or break the whole video essay that is vital to the purpose or any of the rhetorical strategies, please let me know. Otherwise, I don't think that there is much that could be wrong with this. I have had a lot of people who were not knowledgable on the subject of screen time but it was very easy for them to understand and they thought that it was really well done (NOT TO TOOT MY OWN HORN AGAIN)... I am just really proud of the work that I have put into this video essay.
The only weakness that I can think of is that some of the pictures that I used may be too repetitive in a way even though they are not the same pictures used more than once.
Friday, April 15, 2016
Peer Review for James Fusaro
In this blog post, I will be peer editing James' standard college essay on the First Amendment. I am going to make a re-design recommendation for his essay.
Here is where I commented on his essay. I made sure to include the reasons why I chose to do the re-design recommendation for his standard college essay. I found that his big chunk of words was a bit overwhelming when I first looked at it, so I suggested that he double space his paragraph and maybe separate it into two different paragraphs since there were some topic changes throughout. The only other thing that I thought he should add was a better topic sentence that would more clearly state his main idea for this body paragraph. Instead, he seems to just go straight into the details of his argument which left me a bit confused and I had to reread the paragraph a few times.
I think that besides those things, his essay was very well written and had a lot of good credible points (pg 72 from the Student's Guide). I really admired the way that he presented the information in such a nice and organized way. It made the information much easier to understand, which also shows that he understands the topic very well.
Here is where I commented on his essay. I made sure to include the reasons why I chose to do the re-design recommendation for his standard college essay. I found that his big chunk of words was a bit overwhelming when I first looked at it, so I suggested that he double space his paragraph and maybe separate it into two different paragraphs since there were some topic changes throughout. The only other thing that I thought he should add was a better topic sentence that would more clearly state his main idea for this body paragraph. Instead, he seems to just go straight into the details of his argument which left me a bit confused and I had to reread the paragraph a few times.
I think that besides those things, his essay was very well written and had a lot of good credible points (pg 72 from the Student's Guide). I really admired the way that he presented the information in such a nice and organized way. It made the information much easier to understand, which also shows that he understands the topic very well.
Peer Review for David's Podcast on Comedy
In this blog entry, I will be editing (globally) the podcast that David made on the subject of Satire disappearing in comedy. It is called "Satire is Making Way for Absurdism".
Here are the comments that I left on his blog post. For this peer review, I chose to use the copy- editing recommendation for David because his design seemed to be just fine. In this edit, I made sure to compliment his use of examples as well as his laid back voice that would relate well to the type of audience that would listen to his podcast. I did also mention that maybe his laid backness might seem to ruin his credibility a little bit with the small mistakes he makes when speaking, but at the same time, he included a lot of information that was legit and supported his claims very nicely. On page 72 of the Student's Guide, it brings up sources, and I complimented his use of good sources because they are well known sources, like Saturday Night Live.
I think that if anything, I just helped David understand that there should be a good balance between the laid backness of his tone and his credibility and sincerity as well. I really admired his use of comedy in the opening of the podcast though because it got me intrigued immediately. So good job David!
Here are the comments that I left on his blog post. For this peer review, I chose to use the copy- editing recommendation for David because his design seemed to be just fine. In this edit, I made sure to compliment his use of examples as well as his laid back voice that would relate well to the type of audience that would listen to his podcast. I did also mention that maybe his laid backness might seem to ruin his credibility a little bit with the small mistakes he makes when speaking, but at the same time, he included a lot of information that was legit and supported his claims very nicely. On page 72 of the Student's Guide, it brings up sources, and I complimented his use of good sources because they are well known sources, like Saturday Night Live.
I think that if anything, I just helped David understand that there should be a good balance between the laid backness of his tone and his credibility and sincerity as well. I really admired his use of comedy in the opening of the podcast though because it got me intrigued immediately. So good job David!
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Reflection on Post-Production Week
This is how this week went and how I'm feeling about the coming weeks with the closing of this project.
1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
I really liked this week because I realized how well this project was going to go now that I know how I wanted things to go. I finally understood how to use iMovie and I learned how to better make the visual and audio relationship flow. This week was hard and it took a lot of time to get all of this done, however I am very pleased with how far this project has come since last week with the rough cut.
2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
Some of the challenges, however, were that it took a lot of time to get all of the work done in the week that we were given. Since my rough cut really was so bad and very very rough, I pretty much had to start from scratch because I got so many helpful criticisms on my rough cut. I realized that it was way easier to just start over and re-write the script. Re-writing the script was really hard but I think that it was best for the betterment of the project.
3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?
I think that next week will go very nicely because I got all of the hard stuff out of the way this week. I realize that next week I am still going to be editing my video, but the editing will not be as significant as this week's editing was. Hopefully, next week will be a breeze because I also have a lot of tests next week that I need to focus on.
4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
I think that this project is going much much better now that I have finished this first part of the editing process. The hardest part is now over and I can focus on fixing the little things. I think that this project was a lot harder than the other 2 that we have done, but I also found that his project was the most enjoyable. This was a fun project because it involved a topic that I actually really enjoyed talking about.
1. What were some of the successes (or, things that went right) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
I really liked this week because I realized how well this project was going to go now that I know how I wanted things to go. I finally understood how to use iMovie and I learned how to better make the visual and audio relationship flow. This week was hard and it took a lot of time to get all of this done, however I am very pleased with how far this project has come since last week with the rough cut.
2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
Some of the challenges, however, were that it took a lot of time to get all of the work done in the week that we were given. Since my rough cut really was so bad and very very rough, I pretty much had to start from scratch because I got so many helpful criticisms on my rough cut. I realized that it was way easier to just start over and re-write the script. Re-writing the script was really hard but I think that it was best for the betterment of the project.
3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?
I think that next week will go very nicely because I got all of the hard stuff out of the way this week. I realize that next week I am still going to be editing my video, but the editing will not be as significant as this week's editing was. Hopefully, next week will be a breeze because I also have a lot of tests next week that I need to focus on.
4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
I think that this project is going much much better now that I have finished this first part of the editing process. The hardest part is now over and I can focus on fixing the little things. I think that this project was a lot harder than the other 2 that we have done, but I also found that his project was the most enjoyable. This was a fun project because it involved a topic that I actually really enjoyed talking about.
Open Post to Peer Reviewers
Here ya go peers... my rough cut that I submitted last week. Just remember that it is VERY rough. I am currently working out all the kinks and adding a LOT more to the video... so keep that in mind :)
Rough Cut
Rough Cut
Audience Question: What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?
I expect the post-production phase to be a lot of work, since I did not really have the time to get much done in the actual production phase. I know what I need to do and I know how I plan on doing it, it is just the actually doing it part that will be the most time consuming. So, I understand if there are a lot of comments about fixing a lot of different things.
Things I'd Like Y'all to know/watch out for:
- this is a very rough cut
-I plan on fixing the pictures and re-doing the voiceover
-let me know if the statistics make sense
-If you know how to put a segment of a youtube video in iMovie that'd be great
- If something is confusing in the beginning, or I didn't explain something right, please let me know
- I have a lot more info and stats and studies to back up my claims for a good solution to this problem, so keep that in mind
- If you can think of other visuals that would make this more appealing to you as a viewer, that'd be great as well
Editorial Report 12b
In this section, I will be editing with global revisions, taking into account the peer reviews from production week. There will be a link where you can compare the rough cut to the recently edited draft of this video essay.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I think the content changed a lot with my new edits. I made sure to make the main paragraphs ( the main section) flow much better and make sure that the audience was able to interact more and feel connected to the video. I changed the opening section to relate more to the actual public argument. I got some comments on my opening not relating well to the rest of my video, so I took those into account and completely re-did the beginning because I realized that if the beginning is not good, then the audience won't want to spend their time watching the rest of the video. I also changed the pictures of the video so that they weren't so repetitive and matched better with what I was saying in the audio section.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
The only thing that I didn't change was the fact that my face is not showing in this video. I did not feel comfortable showing my face in this video and I didn't think that it was necessary in order to prove my point. I have pictures and statistics and my voiceover in the background which I fully believe will help to get my point across. I think that overall my form stayed the same, I just am really making sure that my voice is extra strong and that I do not sound monotone over the microphone. I also know that I am reading from a script, but I do not want the video to sound too scripted and memorized. I want it to flow and be enjoyable as well as interesting for the audience.
Rough Cut: here
Re-Edited Version: here (start at 0:52-1:48)
Editorial Post 12a
In this section, I will be editing with global revisions, taking into account the peer reviews from production week. There will be a link where you can compare the rough cut to the recently edited draft of this video essay.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I think the content changed a lot with my new edits. I changed the opening section to relate more to the actual public argument. I got some comments on my opening not relating well to the rest of my video, so I took those into account and completely re-did the beginning because I realized that if the beginning is not good, then the audience won't want to spend their time watching the rest of the video. I also changed the pictures of the video so that they weren't so repetitive and matched better with what I was saying in the audio section.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
The only thing that I didn't change was the fact that my face is not showing in this video. I did not feel comfortable showing my face in this video and I didn't think that it was necessary in order to prove my point. I have pictures and statistics and my voiceover in the background which I fully believe will help to get my point across. I think that overall my form stayed the same, I just am really making sure that my voice is extra strong and that I do not sound monotone over the microphone. I also know that I am reading from a script, but I do not want the video to sound too scripted and memorized. I want it to flow and be enjoyable as well as interesting for the audience.
Rough Cut: here
Re-Edited Version: here (end at 0:51)
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Peer Review 11b
This is a blog post for Mariana's podcast on the patient's charts and why they are important.
Here is where I wrote my comments on her blog post where she published her rough cut.
I chose to review her project using the "form" activity recommendations because I think that is where it needed the most work. I think that I helped her understand that background music while she is talking is a good idea, but with the wrong type of background music, her voice (which is already very quiet) can be overpowering to her voice and the important things she is saying. I made sure to note that a soft and calm background noise would not be a bad idea, but if it is too distracting, the audience may not want to listen to the podcast if too much is going on. I also made sure to include a reference to page 72, #4 on the list, Use of Evidence, because I think it would be helpful for her audience to know that the information on the patients charts were coming from somewhere credible, and she was not just making up the information.
Overall, I really enjoyed listening to the rough cut of this podcast. It made me really interested in this topic and I found myself wanting to know more about it. I am really looking forward to hearing the final cut of this podcast!
Here is where I wrote my comments on her blog post where she published her rough cut.
I chose to review her project using the "form" activity recommendations because I think that is where it needed the most work. I think that I helped her understand that background music while she is talking is a good idea, but with the wrong type of background music, her voice (which is already very quiet) can be overpowering to her voice and the important things she is saying. I made sure to note that a soft and calm background noise would not be a bad idea, but if it is too distracting, the audience may not want to listen to the podcast if too much is going on. I also made sure to include a reference to page 72, #4 on the list, Use of Evidence, because I think it would be helpful for her audience to know that the information on the patients charts were coming from somewhere credible, and she was not just making up the information.
Overall, I really enjoyed listening to the rough cut of this podcast. It made me really interested in this topic and I found myself wanting to know more about it. I am really looking forward to hearing the final cut of this podcast!
Peer Review 11a
This is a blog post about the peer review that I did for Emily's QRG.
Here you can find the comments that I left on her post!
For Emily's rough cut, I chose to implement the form activity. I think that since she is using a QRG as her third genre for project 3, it was important to tell her all of the information that I learned from doing a QRG as my first project so that she can in turn, be more successful. I helped her realize the importance of including a lot more sources and hyperlinks so that the audience knows that she is a credible resource of information. Without the necessary sources, the QRG would not be a QRG, it would be more of a regular essay with her opinion on a certain topic that she may or may not know a lot about.
I made sure to include the #4 Use of Evidence section form page 72 of the Student's Guide. As I said above, an important part of the QRG is to include the sources and hyperlinks to those sources so that the evidence is clearly credible.
One thing that I really enjoyed about Emily's work though was that she really made her voice strong and clear so that the audience could easily tell what she was thinking and why she thought it. I also think that her topic on Let's Move! is a very interesting topic. I'm excited to see what the finished product looks like.
Here you can find the comments that I left on her post!
For Emily's rough cut, I chose to implement the form activity. I think that since she is using a QRG as her third genre for project 3, it was important to tell her all of the information that I learned from doing a QRG as my first project so that she can in turn, be more successful. I helped her realize the importance of including a lot more sources and hyperlinks so that the audience knows that she is a credible resource of information. Without the necessary sources, the QRG would not be a QRG, it would be more of a regular essay with her opinion on a certain topic that she may or may not know a lot about.
I made sure to include the #4 Use of Evidence section form page 72 of the Student's Guide. As I said above, an important part of the QRG is to include the sources and hyperlinks to those sources so that the evidence is clearly credible.
One thing that I really enjoyed about Emily's work though was that she really made her voice strong and clear so that the audience could easily tell what she was thinking and why she thought it. I also think that her topic on Let's Move! is a very interesting topic. I'm excited to see what the finished product looks like.
Reflection on Production
This is the reflection of my production week and how it all went down. It was such a rough week so here's all the reasons why.
The amount of things that went right this week were very few. I think that the only thing that actually went right this week was that I completed the blog posts on Sunday. Everything else was a mess so that is why my rough cuts are very very rough. I had a hard week academically and didn't have time to work on this project until this weekend so that is why there were very few successes this week.
2. What were some of the challenges (or, things that went wrong) during this week’s process work? Explain, with evidence.
Since I had a chemistry test this week and a physiology test I was crammed with studying and finding time to even think. So I did not barely have any time to work on this project. I think that maybe if I had a different schedule for my classes and all of my tests were not in this week when I was supposed to do the production week for this project, this week would have gone much more smoothly. However, since my life is a mess 90% of the time, it is not surprising that this week was crazy filled with tests and projects that I needed to complete.
However, once I got started on my project, things started to go much better. I learned that iMovie is very confusing but I figured it out fairly quickly. I also realized that this topic is super interesting to me so I was actually motivated to get it done. I have not felt this way about a project in a while.
3. How do you think next week will go, based on your experiences this week?
Since I do not have any test this coming week, I feel very confident that this will be a much better and more successful week for me. I will be able to focus more on this project and less on chemistry. I think that I have set myself up to be successful at this point which is very important if I want the rest of this post-production week to go well.
4. How are you feeling about the project overall at this point?
Now, I am feeling much better about this project since the hardest part in my opinion is now over. I think that the rest of the project will be fun and I will actually be able to enjoy myself working on this video essay from this point on. Now that I have figured out how to work iMovie and get it figured out on Blogger, I think that I will be much more efficient with my time and be able to get a lot more done with this project in a relatively shorter amount of time.
Production Report B
This is the blog post that will analyze the rough cut of the "first body paragraph" if you will of the project.
OUTLINE ITEM
Main Body Paragraph 1:
Main Idea:Explaining why the screen time is such a big issue and relate this to what the parents do to allow the kids to spend so much time on their devices.
Evidence: Bring up interviews of the parents that have experienced their kids spending too much time on their devices. Also use interviews of the daycare/ babysitters who have experienced the kids depending so much on their screens.
Summary of Evidence: Explain the things that I had experienced the parents doing by putting the children in front of a screen when they want to keep them occupied. The other summary of the interviews done by the babysitters, could be from the actual daycare watchers themselves.
Importance: It is important to explain the opinions of the people that actually watch the kids for a living because otherwise, it would just be based off of someone's random opinion who may not have any experience with children wanting to be around the screens.
1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here?
I think that the form that I used to present my content in the raw material was chosen well because it allowed me to present my argument in a way that was the most persuasive and kept the audience intrigued for the long amounts of time that was needed to get my point completely across to them.
2. How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
OUTLINE ITEM
Main Body Paragraph 1:
Main Idea:Explaining why the screen time is such a big issue and relate this to what the parents do to allow the kids to spend so much time on their devices.
Evidence: Bring up interviews of the parents that have experienced their kids spending too much time on their devices. Also use interviews of the daycare/ babysitters who have experienced the kids depending so much on their screens.
Summary of Evidence: Explain the things that I had experienced the parents doing by putting the children in front of a screen when they want to keep them occupied. The other summary of the interviews done by the babysitters, could be from the actual daycare watchers themselves.
Importance: It is important to explain the opinions of the people that actually watch the kids for a living because otherwise, it would just be based off of someone's random opinion who may not have any experience with children wanting to be around the screens.
1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here?
I think that the form that I used to present my content in the raw material was chosen well because it allowed me to present my argument in a way that was the most persuasive and kept the audience intrigued for the long amounts of time that was needed to get my point completely across to them.
2. How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
I think that the conventions of my genre, the video essay influenced my choices because I wanted to be able to show videos and pictures of the effects of the screen time on children. Without the use of the videos and the pictures, and my voice, I think that the point would not have been proven as well that technology and screen use is bad for kids that are younger than 3 years old.
3. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
I think that the production went really well of the raw material. I think that it could have gone better if I wasn't so stressed out. But I think that had I not really known how to work iMovie, I would have struggled a lot more. The most challenging part was deciding which points I wanted to discuss first. I think that next week will definitely be much more efficient. I did however have an epiphany because I remembered that videos could actually be uploaded straight onto the blogger website.
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