Sunday, May 1, 2016

Peer Review 14 for Olivia Sandhu

In this blog post I will be analyzing the peer reviewing that I did for Olivia's standard college essay for her final course essay.

In this essay, I didn't really have many edits to make.  I thought that her intro paragraph was really well written.  She introduced the subject matter and the three topics that she is going to talk about in the rest of her essay.  The only thing that I would suggest is that she could shorten the quote that she uses from Bottai's syllabus.  It is really long so I think that it would help more to cut it down a bit to just get the main parts of the syllabus that are necessary.  From the Student's Guide I think that page 72 showed a lot about the evidence that is necessary to use.  And with that, she did a good job using the evidence from the syllabus.  I am super excited to see what the rest of her paper turns out to be.

 I really liked her opening sentence in this essay because it really showed her true feelings about the class and all that she has done for it.

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