In this blog post, I will be peer editing James' standard college essay on the First Amendment. I am going to make a re-design recommendation for his essay.
Here is where I commented on his essay. I made sure to include the reasons why I chose to do the re-design recommendation for his standard college essay. I found that his big chunk of words was a bit overwhelming when I first looked at it, so I suggested that he double space his paragraph and maybe separate it into two different paragraphs since there were some topic changes throughout. The only other thing that I thought he should add was a better topic sentence that would more clearly state his main idea for this body paragraph. Instead, he seems to just go straight into the details of his argument which left me a bit confused and I had to reread the paragraph a few times.
I think that besides those things, his essay was very well written and had a lot of good credible points (pg 72 from the Student's Guide). I really admired the way that he presented the information in such a nice and organized way. It made the information much easier to understand, which also shows that he understands the topic very well.
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