Here is where I will be analyzing Amorah Pratt's 3rd paragraph for her Video Essay as her final project.
In my comments, I said that she had made a really good start of a project. She really was able to show her strong personality just through her rough cut of WRITING the draft. So I can't wait to see what it will be like as a Video Essay and you will be able to both see and hear her and really get a sense for who she is as a person and as a writer. I didn't have many suggestions for her rough cut, other than to maybe talk about the English class a little sooner and show how it related to what she was discussing for so long in the majority of this section. I think that she could have included it somewhere in the middle without it being too forced. I didn't really need to use the Student's Guide but, once again, I thought she did a stellar job with her voice, which is such an important part to the video essay and any genre for that matter.
So, if you couldn't already tell, I really admire her voice in her writing, and how easy it is to tell who she is as both a writer and a person!
Tuesday, May 3, 2016
Editorial Report 15b
Here is where I am going to compare and contrast my editorial report 14a to my newest draft of this second paragraph for all y'all. This is the paragraph(s) that discussed the importance of discovering who I was as a writer and how I have changed over the semester.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I don't think that the content changed all that much. If anything, I made sure that the formatting was correct and that the paragraphs were not too long (I had to separate a few of them into multiple paragraphs because they were too long). I also added some more substance to my ideas if that makes any sense. So I just included more details to what I had originally had so it wasn't just summarizing or bland talking. I think that I 'spiced it up a little bit' so that it is more interesting to read for the audience.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
I think that the only way the form changed was that I added the MLA format header and footer that I had completely forgotten about in the original draft of my final project. After seeing some of the other standard college essays that were completed, I realized that I needed to include those aspects in order to fully grasp the true elements of the standard college essay genre. I think that now it seems like I really learned a lot in this English class about professionalism and writing and the relationship that the two have on the content of the genre.
Editorial Report 15a
Here is where I am going to compare and contrast my editorial report 14a to my newest draft of this first body paragraph for all y'all.
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
1. How did the content change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the content is being communicated more effectively in the re-edited version?
I don't think that the content changed all that much. If anything, I made sure that the formatting was correct and that the paragraphs were not too long (I had to separate a few of them into multiple paragraphs because they were too long). I also added some more substance to my ideas if that makes any sense. So I just included more details to what I had originally had so it wasn't just summarizing or bland talking. I think that I 'spiced it up a little bit' so that it is more interesting to read for the audience.
2. How did the form change (even slightly - details matter!) when you re-edited it? Why do you think the form is presenting the content more effectively in the re-edited version?
I think that the only way the form changed was that I added the MLA format header and footer that I had completely forgotten about in the original draft of my final project. After seeing some of the other standard college essays that were completed, I realized that I needed to include those aspects in order to fully grasp the true elements of the standard college essay genre. I think that now it seems like I really learned a lot in this English class about professionalism and writing and the relationship that the two have on the content of the genre.
Open Post to Peer Reviewers
In this blog post I'm just letting all you readers out there know how this week is going/went and what you should expect from my rough cut.
Here is where you can find the rough cut link.
Here is where you can find the rough cut link.
Audience Question: What are you anticipating the post-production process to be like, based on what you accomplished during the production phase?
I am thinking that the post-production process will be a breeze considering that I have accomplished a lot and already have done a few drafts of my final project. It really helped that I had a lot of time this weekend to get a head start on my project because I don't know if I would have been able to find much this coming week with finals in my other classes and what not. I am definitely glad that I had only a standard college essay left as my genre, because if I had to do a video essay or a podcast at this point, I think that I'd be screwed. I am already stressed with so much going on this week, that learning how to use all the new technology and doing all the research would have been super time consuming. Luckily, when we discussed in class what the prompt was going to be on, I was able to quickly come up with ideas on what I would write about in my final paper.
What I would like all you peer reviewers out there to know is that this is more of a casual standard college essay. Since it is a reflection, and I am allowed to use "I" in the essay, I figured that it wouldn't have to seem as professional as the other projects we had. All I did was analyze the way that I have changed this year because of this class. I think that my writing style allows me to write in a way that shows my voice clearly with a sense of humor included, but also a bit of a serious side. If the essay seems to be too casual, please let me know! However, I didn't think that there was a specific way of writing this final project. Also, if my transitions are in need of some help let me know! If there is anything that really needs help or more explanation let me know, and don't be afraid to do both global and local edits. I appreciate all positive and negative feedback! Thank you!!
Sunday, May 1, 2016
Peer Review 14b for Ben Barnett
Here you will find the peer review that I completed for Ben Barnett's standard college essay and his first body paragraph on time management.
In this peer review, I left comments that said that he did an overall really good job with discussing how it is that he has progressed throughout this semester, but I think that the only thing that he really needs to make sure he checks are the little spelling and grammar issues. Even though it is local revisions, it is an important part of the final project. I think that overall this is a really good final essay but the grammar and spelling is an important part too. On page 72 of the Student's Guide it is important that he includes evidence, so maybe including a citation from the syllabus would help? I really admired his voice throughout the paragraph though.
In this peer review, I left comments that said that he did an overall really good job with discussing how it is that he has progressed throughout this semester, but I think that the only thing that he really needs to make sure he checks are the little spelling and grammar issues. Even though it is local revisions, it is an important part of the final project. I think that overall this is a really good final essay but the grammar and spelling is an important part too. On page 72 of the Student's Guide it is important that he includes evidence, so maybe including a citation from the syllabus would help? I really admired his voice throughout the paragraph though.
Peer Review 14 for Olivia Sandhu
In this blog post I will be analyzing the peer reviewing that I did for Olivia's standard college essay for her final course essay.
In this essay, I didn't really have many edits to make. I thought that her intro paragraph was really well written. She introduced the subject matter and the three topics that she is going to talk about in the rest of her essay. The only thing that I would suggest is that she could shorten the quote that she uses from Bottai's syllabus. It is really long so I think that it would help more to cut it down a bit to just get the main parts of the syllabus that are necessary. From the Student's Guide I think that page 72 showed a lot about the evidence that is necessary to use. And with that, she did a good job using the evidence from the syllabus. I am super excited to see what the rest of her paper turns out to be.
I really liked her opening sentence in this essay because it really showed her true feelings about the class and all that she has done for it.
In this essay, I didn't really have many edits to make. I thought that her intro paragraph was really well written. She introduced the subject matter and the three topics that she is going to talk about in the rest of her essay. The only thing that I would suggest is that she could shorten the quote that she uses from Bottai's syllabus. It is really long so I think that it would help more to cut it down a bit to just get the main parts of the syllabus that are necessary. From the Student's Guide I think that page 72 showed a lot about the evidence that is necessary to use. And with that, she did a good job using the evidence from the syllabus. I am super excited to see what the rest of her paper turns out to be.
I really liked her opening sentence in this essay because it really showed her true feelings about the class and all that she has done for it.
Production Report 14b
In this blog post, I will be sharing my standard college essay, but specifically the second body paragraph. Feel free to comment and edit away!
Here is where you can find that second body paragraph on how my writing strategies have changed over the semester.
FROM CONTENT OUTLINE:
Body Paragraph 2:
1. How did you decide to use form to present your content in the raw material you’ve shared here? How did the conventions of your chosen genre influence your choices?
Once again, just like the last blog post, I thought that the standard college essay really allowed me to organize my thoughts really well. I definitely liked that I was able to use the standard college essay format to figure this final project out because it allowed me to separate my ideas out in paragraph form. It is much easier and will be much easier to explain how I have grown and what this course has done to change me as both a person and a writer.
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The production of this raw material was not terrible to create. There weren't any technological challenges with this project since I wasn't using GarageBand or Excel or iMovie. I know how to work Word and Google Docs so I think that that aspect was really easy. The main problems that I am going to face now is that I need to expand on my ideas more and not just summarize. I need to use good examples and find the time to finish this as well as find time to study for my finals and complete other last projects that have been assigned to me.
Here is where you can find that second body paragraph on how my writing strategies have changed over the semester.
FROM CONTENT OUTLINE:
Body Paragraph 2:
MAIN IDEA
- Discuss the different ways that I changed as a writer since the beginning of the semester
- "Heavy editor"
- Became an "edit while I work" kinda writer
- What I have done to change my ways
EVIDENCE
- Differences between the 3 projects and how those worked for me
- the importance of showing my progression of my writing throughout the semester and how it has affected my writing overall
- What I have changed in my writing over the semester
- the importance of showing how I have changed my strategies of approaching the writing when I am assigned the different projects.
IMPORTANCE:
- The importance of including this paragraph is that the difference in how I approached my writing projects and why it is so important to have been able to change the way that I write so that I can become a more confident writer and edit as I go instead of editing after the whole essay is written.
Once again, just like the last blog post, I thought that the standard college essay really allowed me to organize my thoughts really well. I definitely liked that I was able to use the standard college essay format to figure this final project out because it allowed me to separate my ideas out in paragraph form. It is much easier and will be much easier to explain how I have grown and what this course has done to change me as both a person and a writer.
2. How did the production of this raw material go? What kinds of any hiccups, challenges, successes, creative epiphanies, etc. occurred during the process?
The production of this raw material was not terrible to create. There weren't any technological challenges with this project since I wasn't using GarageBand or Excel or iMovie. I know how to work Word and Google Docs so I think that that aspect was really easy. The main problems that I am going to face now is that I need to expand on my ideas more and not just summarize. I need to use good examples and find the time to finish this as well as find time to study for my finals and complete other last projects that have been assigned to me.
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